4 Ways to Get Over Your Oneitis (In Under 3 Months)

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oneitis how to talk to girls

Have you ever experienced a oneitis? It’s not a very fun experience. Lots of guys get addicted to a woman’s love, and they can’t find a way out.

I remember my first oneitis… it was horrible! I was so deeply in love with this girl, and she just didn’t love me back.

This is what’s known as a “oneitis.” It’s when you have a heart-breaking crush on a girl, to the point where you can’t even think straight.

So, if you’re in the dark depths of depression, and can’t seem to find a way out, then this article is absolutely for you.

1. Learn to Talk to Girls

Oneitis is a symptom of an underlying problem… it happens because you don’t know how to talk to girls.

Anytime you have a oneitis, it’s almost always due to a lack of abundance. You can’t get any other women to date you, so you fall in love with the only one you’ve got. This is what’s known as “scarcity” in the dating world.

Whenever you fall deep into scarcity, it’s often very hard to get out… that’s why the #1 way to get out of scarcity, is learning how to find more women.

Anytime you have a oneitis, you’re 100% focused on her – and while this may be a good idea if you’re married, if you are just starting to date, it can make you come off as needy and desperate.

This is why you must learn how to talk to women in an effective way that makes them attracted to you. Learn about body language, how to flirt with women, how to talk to girls effortlessly, and how to build a deeper connection with more girls.

2. Use Online Dating

While online dating can sometimes get a bad reputation, it’s actually one of the best ways to get over a oneitis.

Like I said, when you have a oneitis, you’re stuck in scarcity. You think that the only girl for you, is that one special girl… but when you install some online dating apps, you begin to realize that there’s plenty of fish in the sea.

Here are the best two dating applications in my experience:

  • Tinder
  • Bumble

Everything else is mediocre, in my opinion. Tinder is the #1 dating app in the world, and has the largest population of women on it. Second is bumble, which isn’t as good as Tinder, but is still good.

All of those other dating apps like Christian mingle, Farmers Only, and eHarmony, are outdated and not very efficient (as far as I can tell). Install Tinder and Bumble on your phone, and you’ll see how many other fish there are in the sea (and get over your oneitis).

3. Focus on Your Health

This is an often underrated aspect of dating, but if you want to get over your oneitis and have a fulfilling dating life, you need to focus on yourself first. Many people don’t like this, because it makes them uncomfortable, but it’s the key to your growth and success.

Here are some hard questions to ask yourself:

  • Are you in good shape?
  • How often do you hit the gym?
  • Is your weight at an unhealthy level?

If so, then you need to start focusing on your health. Buy a membership at your local gym, start going on a walk daily, and begin to focus on eating healthy, good foods. Focus on a lot of vegetables and lean proteins, with some carbs thrown in here and there.

Once you start to focus on your health, and get in better shape, more women will be attracted to you, and it will be easier to get over your oneitis.

4. Develop Deep Inner Confidence

This is the hardest item out of this list, which is why I saved it for last… it’s also the most important, however. Without deep inner confidence, it’s going to be very hard to get over oneitis.

Oneitis happens when you are deeply codependent with someone, and this is a deep inner issue that must be fixed. There is a great book called “The Six Pillars of Self Esteem” which I highly recommend you read, but here is a quote from it:

“But if I lack respect for and enjoyment of who I am, I have very little to give—except my unfilled needs. In my emotional impoverishment, I tend to see other people essentially as sources of approval or disapproval. I do not appreciate them for who they are in their own right. I see only what they can or cannot do for me. I am not looking for people whom I can admire and with whom I can share the excitement and adventure of life. I am looking for people who will not condemn me—and perhaps will be impressed by my persona, the face I present to the world. My ability to love remains undeveloped. This is one of the reasons why attempts at relationships so often fail—not because the vision of passionate or romantic love is intrinsically irrational, but because the self-esteem needed to support it is absent.” 

This is essentially the problem with oneitis, and it’s exactly what causes it: a lack of self-esteem. Without self-esteem, you see your oneitis as the “end all, be all” to your happiness. But you must realize that you can be happy without her.

Summary (How to Get Over Your Oneitis)

In conclusion, if you want to get over a oneitis fast, you must master these four skills.

First off, learn to talk to girls – this is the highest leverage point, and it also works the fastest. Get good at flirting, and memorize a few pickup lines, so you can easily find new dates.

Second, use online dating. In just a few minutes, you can set up an online profile, talk to girls, and start to get over your oneitis. After this, focus on your health, and get in great shape.

Lastly, strive to cultivate long-lasting self-esteem… this is the key, because it will lead you out of codependency.

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